F.A.Q's

What concerns are suitable for therapy?
There are times in most people’s lives when they feel unable to cope. It is not unusual to feel depressed, anxious or isolated at some stage in your life. You can talk with your therapist about anything that is bothering you however large or small you think the problem is. There is no right or wrong topic to bring to therapy. Even if you do not know what is bothering you but just feel something isn’t quite right then therapy can be hugely beneficial.

What is therapy?
Therapy is an opportunity to speak to someone impartial who only has your best interest at heart. This is an opportunity to be listened to, respected and understood. Therapy is not about giving you answers or advice, but enabling you to find your own answers.

We often describe therapy as a journey that the therapist and client take together; with the client choosing the direction, and the therapist providing support should the road become rocky.

Another analogy commonly used is one of the therapist shining a light to help you see the way, when the world around you may seem dark.

How long is a therapy session?
Therapy sessions are a “counselling hour” which is 50 minutes.

Some people; especially in couple work or IFS opt for double sessions, and some therapists that offer single session solution focused therapy work for 2/3 hours on one specific goal or topic.

How often is therapy?
Most therapy is weekly; however if a client is feeling particularly vulnerable it can be twice a week. We do not offer fortnightly or monthly sessions when commencing therapy, as it is our belief that effective therapy requires commitment and consistency. Any longer than weekly spaces between sessions (excluding holidays etc.) and the effectiveness of the work can be significantly affected.

Can I get a diagnosis of Autism or ADHD by a counsellor or psychotherapist?
The simple answer is no you cannot; although counsellors and psychotherapists may be informed by, and even use clinical terminology; the only people who can officially diagnose psychiatric disorders are Psychiatrists or Clinical Psychologists. Diagnosis is carried out by several methods and follow a set of guidelines identifying specific traits set out in either the Diagnostic Statistics Manual of Psychiatric Disorders (DSM-5) in the UK & USA, or the International Classification of Psychiatric Disorders (ICD-11) for the rest of the world.

Is therapy confidential?
YES,
Your therapist will not share information to anyone else without your express in-person permission.
Therapists are required to have monthly clinical supervision where they may disclose a topic related to your work together, however they would not disclose personal information, and the supervision sessions are also bound by the same confidentiality requirements.

The only time a therapist might consider breaking confidentiality is if there is a serious risk of harm to yourself or others, or where required to do so by law. In these instances, the therapist would discuss any possible disclosure with you first; unless to do so itself could cause harm.

What is the Procedure in a session?
When you meet your therapist, they will introduce themselves but will not disclose any personal information unless relevant to the work.

This enables you time and space to use your session in whichever way you want.
Some people find the early stages of therapy uncomfortable as they are unsure of what is expected of them, or how to use the time since the therapist is not setting out an agenda.

It is a good idea to let your therapist know if this happens as the communication of how you feel is an important aspect of the work.

How long does therapy last?
Sometimes it is for a time-limited period which is agreed at the outset.

For example: 10 sessions is the typical block that we contract for, after the initial consultation for general counselling.

However; if we contract for a set number of sessions, and at the end of that time we feel that further sessions are needed. We can then re-contract for a further block, or for the work to be open-ended.

Internal Family Systems (IFS) involves engaging with our wounded & exiled parts and with the protectors keeping them safe. This type of therapy is extremely powerful, deep work and is not something that can be rushed. This type of therapy is long term work which can sometimes span a year or more.

You can always talk to your therapist during your therapy to review how things are going. And when either you, or the therapist feels that the work is perhaps coming to a close; it is an important part of the process to have a good, planned ending and should be properly discussed to ensure that.

Can I contact my therapist between sessions?
No; your therapist has other clients and a personal life, so it is important to respect these boundaries. Obviously if you need to contact your therapist to reschedule then that is OK, but you should leave any questions you may have until your next session. Making notes or keeping a journal between sessions can be a great way of keeping any topics that arise between sessions from overwhelming you.

What can I expect from my therapist?
Your therapist will be there for you at the day and time arranged, they will give you their full attention and really try to understand your experiences; they may ask questions in a hope to understand you better. They will not judge you and only have your best interest at heart. They will not offer advice or rescue you, but will show warmth in helping you to find your own answers.

What is expected of me?
Your therapist requires a commitment to the work; therapy can often be difficult at the beginning, and the motivation to keep going when things may seem bleak is key to a successful outcome. They cannot give you the answers; and you will only get out of therapy what you put in to it.

Will I be given homework?
Some types of therapy; CBT for example tend to give homework. If this is something you do not like, then speak to your therapist and they will work with you to find other ways of getting the most out of your sessions. A great deal of the processing we do actually happens outside of the therapy room, and you may be asked to reflect and think about this between sessions.

What if I don’t like my therapist?
Before you commit to a block of sessions, your therapist will book an initial consultation. This is an opportunity to see if you like your therapist, feel safe and comfortable, and wish to work together.

There is no obligation with the initial consultation to book further sessions, and the therapist will not feel offended if you would rather work with someone else.

In most cases if you are not happy with a particular therapist, they can often point you in the direction of someone who may be better suited to meet your needs.

Can I see more than one therapist at once?
No; it can be harmful to be seeing more than one therapist at once, as techniques and ways of working may be in conflict, and can actually do more damage than good.

Any professional therapist would refuse to work with someone seeing another therapist due to ethical concerns and a conflict of interest.

There is a caveat to this however; which is when a client is having individual therapy and undertaking couple therapy at the same time. This is allowed; and often when couples present for relationship therapy, we may advise that they have their own personal therapy as well.

Can I see a therapist I know?
No; a therapeutic relationship is extremely unique where your therapist with no preconceived ideas or knowledge of you or your past is able to offer you warmth and space to focus solely on yourself. If someone you know recommends a therapist then that is obviously OK, as long as you do not have a relationship with them outside of the therapeutic one.

What if I need to cancel a session?
If you need to cancel or change a session then this can be done without charge as long as it is outside of our cancellation window which is 72 hours. Less than that and the session would still need to be paid for.

In order for therapy to have a greater chance of success; regular commitment is essential. Too many cancellations could have a negative impact on the work, the therapeutic relationship and ultimately your experience of therapy.

We realise that sometimes life events take priority, and in fact we believe they should.
If you are having difficulties making your sessions please discuss this with your therapist.

What if I’m late for a session?
Your session is booked for a specific time and held solely for you. If you are running late that is not a problem, however the session will still need to end on time.

Can I leave a session early?
You can choose to leave your session early if you wish as this is your time, and you have the autonomy to do with it as you please.

Sometimes clients may wish to leave a session early as the material in the session may have been particularly difficult. We would prefer clients not to leave sessions in a highly distressed state, and sometimes grounding and relaxation may be advisable before leaving a difficult session.

If this is not an option, then just taking a few minutes after the session by going for a short walk or sitting somewhere before re-entering the rest of your day could prove beneficial.

What if I feel my therapy is not working?
We welcome all feedback in therapy; and we would want to know what we could change in order to make it more successful if you felt It wasn’t working.

Sometimes fear may prevent us from being able to explore our issues effectively, and sometimes we are not ready to engage in therapy at this particular time.

We would always be honest with you if we felt that this was the case, and would respect your feedback if you felt in a similar way.

Ultimately if therapy isn’t working for you;  we would not wish to give you an unsatisfactory experience as this may put you off and prevent you from accessing therapy in the future.

We could also refer you to another therapist after discussion, if we both felt that it would be a better fit.

What if I see my therapist outside of our session?
During our first session we would discuss with you, how you would like to work with the possibility of bumping into one another outside of the therapy room.

Due to client confidentiality, we would not approach you. This is not us being rude; merely respecting your right to privacy.

If you wanted to say “hello” please do not worry we won’t bite; however, we would not be able to discuss anything therapy related.

Can I be friends with my therapist?
The relationship between therapist and client is a unique one; it is also a relationship where your therapist knows a lot about you, and you know very little about them.

Although the relationship developed is warm and caring; and quite possibly if we had met in a social situation, there may have been the possibility that we could have become friends. It is unethical for a therapist to become friends with a client, as this could potentially be harmful in the long run.

Once again if we were to see you outside of therapy; or after the work has finished, please feel free to say hello if you would like. However going for a coffee (for example) would not be appropriate.

Can I do anything at home if I become anxious?
If you find that you are becoming anxious, panicky or feeling your heart race then there is a very simple exercise you can do anywhere which can be extremely powerful in returning you to a much more relaxed and calm state.

This simple counting and breathing form of meditation can be done at anytime and anywhere. And just 5 minutes can make a huge difference.

The 7/11 technique is a breathing exercise where you breathe in for a count of 7 and out for a count 11.

It is used to help you relax and gain/regain composure in a variety of situations.

It can be used to calm anxiety attacks, hyper-ventilation, to relax you at the end of a stressful day or even to get you ready for a busy day. It can be useful to manage anger outbursts, to aid concentration before an exam/interview etc. And can be used when we find ourselves in almost any state which leads to high emotional arousal.

It works in several ways; on the bodies autonomic nervous system.

When we breathe in, receptors are stimulated to quicken our heartbeat, increase breathing rate and increase adrenalin production, and when we breathe out receptors are stimulated to slow our heartbeat, reduce our breathing rate and decrease adrenaline production.

Because it needs a degree of concentration to work; it can help us take our minds off what was worrying us in the first place.

Also; because it helps us to relax it then enables us to re-access to the rational thinking part of the brain which gets shut down in stressful situations. This then allows us the opportunity to think our way around problems etc.

Anyone who can breathe and count to 11 can learn it.

Find somewhere comfortable to sit and relax. It helps, when you are first practicing, to sit in front of a mirror so that you can see your progress.

Sit in a chair with your shoulders relaxed and your hands folded gently over your tummy. If possible, breathe in and out through your nose. In for a count of 7 and out for a count of 11. (The important thing here is to breathe out longer than you breathe in).

If you are doing it correctly your shoulders will remain still and your tummy will get bigger and smaller as you breathe (called belly or diaphragmatic breathing).

If you sit in front of a mirror, you can keep an eye on your shoulders and tummy. Once you can keep your shoulders still and relaxed without effort it is a good idea to close your eyes and try to picture the numbers in your mind to help you concentrate completely on your breathing.

You may also find that before starting this exercise that you gauge on a scale of 1-10 your anxiety levels, and then throughout this exercise check back in until you are at a level that is acceptable for you.

Are there any books I can read to help?
If you go into any bookshop, in any town, anywhere in the world you will see shelves upon shelves of self-help books. This billion dollar industry can be extremely useful if you get the right book. It is extremely important to remember though that no book can ever truly give you the connection that contact with another person can. Of the non-academic books out there, we have compiled a list of some that we feel are a great accompaniment to read alongside human connection in therapy.

Book list
Getting the love you want: Harville Hendrix
No bad parts: Richard Schwartz
Don’t sweat the small stuff: Richard Carlson
The subtle art of not giving a f*ck: Mark Manson
Love matters (How affection shapes a baby’s brain): Sue Gerhardt